Buzz buzz.. Molia rolled over and lifted her sleep mask as she retrieved her phone that was lying on the nightstand. It was Jo.
"Are we still on for tomorrow?"
It was 7 am on Saturday. Someone was eager she thought. She had hopes to sleep in but having brunch with Jo, something she would have been excited for just two days ago, was now making her feel ill. She simply did not understand how people could cheat. She was openly.... well semi openly dating two guys and felt guilty. Jo, Jacob, Jacob, Jo. Her mind couldn't keep up and the indecision had to stop. She decided she would write out a pro con list, go on one more date with each of them and then make a decision. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she typed her response to Jo.
"Of course, ;)" Before she could replace her sleep mask and roll back over her phone buzzed again.
"Can't wait."
She had the weekend off and decided that she would participate in some much-needed self-care. She started her coffee and ate a small breakfast before getting dressed to head out the door. A quick spin class, followed by facial, wax and massage would be just the pick me up she needed. She thought about getting her nails done but something about running into Jo when she still had Jacob on her mind felt wrong. She didn't want to take a chance of seeing him before she cleansed her mind before their brunch date the next day. A few hours later and she was feeling like a new woman resolved to grab a quick lunch then head home to binge watch Netflix curled up on her couch. She was walking while glancing into the shops that lined the street when she came across a cute little bistro. She thought about going in when someone caught her eye. She looked closer and there was Jacob seated across from a woman. She was a beautiful woman. Molia felt a lump in her throat. Just as she was turning to walk away Jacob spotted her through the window. She turned and began to walk quickening her pace as she crossed the street. Seconds later she heard her name.
"Molia!"
As she made it to the sidewalk she froze. She turned to see Jacob jogging across the street.
"Hey!" Molia said.
"Hey, I know you saw me, why did you run away?"
"Well, you seemed a bit preoccupied. I didn't want to intrude." Even Molia had to admit that her tone was curter than she had anticipated. For a second Jacob stood there with a puzzled expression which quickly turned into a smile.
"Oh....so you really do like me a little bit." He said with a playful tone. Molia stood there trying to hold in the smile that was invading her face.
"You're jealous," he said.
"No, I'm not," she said almost pouty.
"I don't know you look a little green to me. Pack that up and come inside with me. I will get you some medicine for that tummy ache later he jested. I want to introduce you to my sister."
"Sister. Oh, that's your sister." Molia's face embraced her smile, and she coyly looked away. She realized that she was relieved. They were not exclusive, that was certain, but she didn't imagine that Jacob could also be dating other women too. Jacob was an attractive, driven guy so why shouldn't he be dating? She walked back to the bistro with him and over to the table where the beautiful young lady was seated.
"Nisa, this is the woman I was telling you about, Molia."
"Molia, Molia, I have heard your name so much I feel like I know you already. All this one has done all day is talk my head off about this great woman he met. So nice to meet you, I am Vanisa." She extended her hand towards Molia meeting hers with equal warmth.
"So nice to meet you Vanisa. Sorry to interrupt your lunch like this."
"No worries, it's a nice surprise. It's not often that my brother is so excited about anyone. At least not anyone that he has wanted to introduce to us at least. It's a pleasure. Have a seat."
Molia sat down next to Jacob across from Vanisa.
Vanisa spoke, "so Molia, I hear you are a nurse manager. That's a pretty big accomplishment for someone so young. What are your plans for the future? Are you looking to settle down anytime soon or...."
Jacob chimed in, "Nisa, let's not start with the third degree. We are still getting to know each other so let's keep it light."
"I know big brother. Molia is obviously a very accomplished woman. I was simply asking a question. It's hard to date and keep up with career ambitions. I know you are looking to settle down and I just want to see if you guys are on the same page with what you want. There's no harm in that." Vanisa turned her attention back to Molia waiting for her to response.
"To be honest I really hadn't given much thought to love. After my last relationship ended, I threw myself into my career and that felt like enough until recently. Now I am starting to rethink that." Her voice trailed off as she glanced over at Jacob looking hopeful.
Vanisa spoke, "Well, you two feel good together to me so for all it's worth I hope things work out and we see a lot more of each other. I need a new shopping buddy, and this one owes me a sister-in-law and a niece or nephew to shop for."
They chatted for a little while longer and parted ways with Jacob giving Molia a quick kiss on the cheek after walking her to her car. He returned back to the bistro where Vanisa was still waiting outside.
"Thank you," he said giving her a knowing look.
"No problem, "Big bro." Vanisa said as she let out a gentle chuckle.
Molia returned home feeling refreshed. She took a shower and put on her favorite cashmere pajamas. As she curled up on the couch she took out her journal. Journaling always helped her clear her thoughts when there was a problem or conflict in her life. There was something about putting thing down on paper that calmed her mind. She would often imagine her thoughts being erased from her mind as she jotted them down on the paper. It was her own way of clearing the clutter and easing her anxiety.
She wrote the words; I must choose in her journal. She had to figure out what and who she wanted. The consequences of making the wrong choice meant that she may never be able to turn back. If she chose the wrong one and it didn't work out, the other guy would likely be gone forever. Men weren't like woman. Once their ego is bruised, they are unlikely to ever give you another chance again. Women are a bit more forgiving when it comes to things like that and often revel in the idea that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, and you had to come back. As long as you paid sufficient restitution for your misstep a woman is likely to give you another chance, but even Molia didn't give second chances. Second is a measure of time, not a place in anyone's life she wanted to be so if you didn't think she was the right one the first time she was going to trust your judgement and move on.
Her thoughts oscillated between the pros and cons of each guy. It came down to her head versus her heart. On paper Jacob was the whole package. He was romantic, understood her career, handsome, and charismatic. There was a certain value in being able to come home from a hard day and talk about work in a context that is understood without having to explain what Press Ganey and Joint Commission are. Jo...Jo felt like home. He was unlike anyone she had ever met. He was well off but humble. He was protective and caring. He was empathetic and patient and their chemistry was undeniable. He was Ativan in human form. She decided that she had tortured herself enough for one night. She would give herself some grace and allow things to play out as they should. Her gut usually led her the right way and with enough time people often showed their true colors. She made her way to bed and set her alarm so she could wake early and prepare before her brunch with Jo tomorrow. She could feel her excitement creeping back as she lowered her sleep mask.
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